Open When You Need to LET IT OUT

I know that these days the rape is consuming your thoughts. You can’t eat, sleep, walk, talk, watch a freaking TV show without your brain bringing up this stupid, sick thing. I’ve been there. That being said, I know it can be hard to talk about AND more importantly, you DO NOT have to talk about it yet. I’ll say that again, this is completely up to you- you do not have to talk about it yet if you don’t want to. This is a little piece of control you get to have, the choice is yours.

I will also tell you, the most healing will come from talking about it, but that takes a while. There is no set timeline for this, everyone’s journey is totally different. It may be a few weeks for you or I know women who have taken years to discuss their abuse, neither is right or wrong. You get to choose. I have come to think about it kind of like an analogy. Your mind and emotions have come together in a tight knit ball and encased themselves in a protective shell. You have all this chaos going on inside, but from the outside nobody really knows what’s going on in there. The tight ball and protective outer layer (you’re protecting yourself by not discussing the issue) are like a seed. Think of your favorite flower seed. Right now you are taking care of yourself, this beautiful seed. You are watering it, feeding it good food and letting it cry as it needs to. One day, the day you decide you’re ready to talk, that seed will break. It will hurt like hell. It will be insanely raw pain, I will not lie. When you, as that sweet seed choose to break and open up, healing will begin. I don’t say that lightly. Roots will take place in the shitty situation you have unwillingly been put in, but you won’t stay there. You will grow, heal, bloom. Not all parts of it are pretty, but they are WORTH it. The best part of this is you now have control. In a situation and heck, even a world where you have been given no control, this is yours. Healing is yours and it is possible. There is NO rush, but it is waiting for you when you’re ready.

Until you are ready to talk about things, here is something you can do. JOURNAL. You don’t have to journal about what happened, you can simply doodle or use it as an outlet for emotions. You can throw it, rip out the pages or stab it with your pen. You can write about anything and everything. The nice thing about paper is it will always be there and it will never judge. Journaling is an extremely useful tool I use to this day. I began journaling when my therapist recommended it after my incident and it truly changed the game for me. I have a few paper journals but mostly choose to write on my computer in an ongoing Google Doc. I prefer to type because my mind works faster than my fingers can write. ANYWHO. You don’t have to journal, but it will always be there for you if you’d like. In addition to the journal, I too am always here to listen, not judge, to hear, understand, believe and not respond or give you advice unless you specifically ask for it- but I understand you don’t always want a person to scream at, sometimes you need to rip paper :)

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*Image is not my own. All rights belong to owner. Image found on Pinterest.